Raayyeerr!! With Brian Williams

Variety clip show The Soup on the E! network is a weekly compilation of humorous footage that the ever-expanding world of cable and network television has to offer.

One of host Joel McHale's favorite segments over the last year or so has featured NBC's lead news anchor, in which the narration of insignificant stories is clearly sarcastic in tone - called Raayyeerr!! With Brian Williams since its inception.

He even made a guest appearance on the show in early February to play along with the running joke. Long before that however, The Soup's team of video editors watched every Nightly News and Rock Center intently in order to find the next comedic gem they could use.

2013 Oscars: What Else Is On?

Hollywood’s elite will be congregating at the Dolby Theatre (formerly the Kodak) on Sunday, Feb. 24 to collectively pat themselves on the back once again. The last awards show of the season is scheduled to commence at 8:30 P.M. EST on ABC, with over four hours of red carpet coverage prior to the big event. So tune in early if celebrity fashion critiques are of interest to you.

Hosting this year for the first (and probably last) time is Seth McFarlane, best known for developing and lending his voice(s) to three crass animated comedies on FOX. Family Guy is the longest running among them, officially premiering in 1999 and returning in 2004 after a two-year hiatus. Going on to become one of the highest paid people in the television industry afforded him the opportunity to release a sophomoric movie into theaters last summer called Ted, which earned him a nomination in the ‘Best Original Song’ category.

Billy Crystal, who returned to host for the ninth time last year as a safe bet has reportedly been giving the novice some advice on how to start and sustain the show. McFarlane has said however that he doesn’t want to let his fan base down.

Among the many other storylines, one has to wonder what film stands the best chance of winning, among the nine that have been nominated for best motion picture. A category that was expanded in 2009 in a brazen attempt to attract more viewers and increase broad-based appeal, which begs the question – how culturally relevant are the Oscars really?

Back in 2005, comedian Chris Rock ruffled a few feathers as the host by joking about his own and America’s willful ignorance in general. At one point in the telecast, Rock was rolled a clip featuring several off-the-cuff interviews with movie-goers outside of Los Angeles.

Simply asking which nominated movie they had enjoyed the most, not even one responded that they had seen one of them yet. One couple excitedly proclaimed that White Chicks, a slapstick comedy starring the Wayans brothers was their favorite movie of the year. Rock will be a presenter on Sunday, the first time he has been invited back since.

This humorous anecdote is a representation of just how pretentious and out of touch Hollywood can be. They’ve prided themselves on their ‘trend-setting’ progressive agenda, delusions of grandeur, and hostility towards conservatives for decades. This is especially evident in the documentary category, where 2016 Obama’s America (one of the most successful of all time) has been shut out from contention.

Then there was the palpable hypocrisy of their gun control crusade more recently. The Business and Media Institute conducted a study last month that found 65 violent scenes and 185 victims in the top-5 movies at the time. 

Considering all of this and more, will you still watch the 4 hour-long flattery fest? If only the Razzies were televised, a ‘celebration’ of the worst movies Hollywood churned out last year. That might be more fun to watch. 

In Obama's America, It Pays To Be On Welfare

According to a recent Heritage Foundation study titled The Unfinished Work of Welfare Reform, there are at least 11 states that now have more people on welfare than they do gainfully employed. Over 100 million total, which is just over a third of the entire population. 

Their research revealed that the average household below the poverty line has received $168 per day of financial assistance from the government, which is a combination of unemployment, food stamps, Medicaid and other benefits. This is based on the Senate Budget Committee's own published statistics from the 2011 fiscal year.

Adding insult to injury, the median household income is just over $50,000, averaging out to just over $137 per day. That means welfare recipients are being paid the equivalent of $30 per hour over the course of a 40-hour 'work' week, and the average job only pays $25 an hour.

More than 100 million Americans received aid from at least one of the nearly 80 federal welfare programs in 2011, at a total cost of $717 billion. When state programs were taken into account, the figure soared above $1 trillion, making it the largest item in the federal budget. 

That's only the tip of the iceberg however, as Robert Rector and Jennifer Marshall pointed out in their report:

Since the beginning of the War on Poverty in the mid-1960s, government has spent $19.8 trillion (in inflation-adjusted 2011 dollars) on means-tested welfare. By comparison, the combined cost of all the wars in American history — from the Revolutionary War through the current war in Afghanistan — has been $6.98 trillion (in 2011 dollars). The War on Poverty has thus cost three times as much as all of our real wars combined.

Meaningful reform was passed back in 1996, increasing self sufficiency levels, but it has since been gutted by the Obama administration. With sensitive issues like sequestration and amnesty for illegals being debated on the congressional floor, one has to wonder if the subject of welfare reform has been seriously considered for its overwhelming relevance to both.

Media Continues to Ignore Mounting Evidence of Voter Fraud

With plenty of anecdotal evidence to back up his claims, WorldNetDaily's Editor-in-Chief Joseph Farah is convinced that something shady and underhanded contributed to the outcome of the election last week. Prefacing his article with a vow of impartiality, Farah presented information from all of the reliable sources he came across.

It should be noted that none of these reports originated from the liberal-leaning broadcast media however, who have openly celebrated Obama's "decisive victory" -- as if they don't care how it could've happened. They are just glad that it did. 

If anyone has a balanced approach to the realities of political life in America, it’s me. I’ve looked at life from both sides. I know the arguments of the other side and can still spout them before most of today’s practitioners of so-called 'progressive' thought can. I also know that the reigning ethos of this movement represented so ably today by Obama is this... 'by any means necessary'... What it means, in short, is that the ends justify the means.

 Voter turnout was thought to have been considerably down this year, but some counties in key swing states like Colorado, Florida, Pennsylvania and Ohio recorded numbers that far exceeded what was expected. In St. Lucie County of Florida for instance, there was a 141 percent turnout. That means almost 72,000 provisional ballots were cast by unregistered or ineligible voters. Coincidentally, this county included Rep. Allen West's district as well -- where a recount has been conducted.

There were many more statistical anomalies in urban areas, where the president won nearly 100 percent of the vote or more in some cases. Obama miraculously won every single vote in all 21 districts of Cleveland, and somehow came away with 108 percent of registered voters in Wood County nearby.

The Philadelphia Inquirer reported that in the city of Philadelphia, Gov. Romney did not garner a single vote from its 59 voting divisions. Obama also received more than 99% of the vote in more than 100 precincts in Cuyahoga County, Ohio on election day. In fact, there were a substantial number of precincts where Romney got exactly zero votes. So how in the world did this happen? Third world dictators don’t even get 99% of the vote.

The Election Protection Coalition fielded over 70,000 complaint calls last Tuesday alone, but little could be done to fix the litany of problems across the country. Touch screens weren't calibrated correctly, Obama banners were spotted on the walls of polling places, and instances of voter intimidation was reported. While volunteers from the Tea-Party backed True the Vote group were illegally banned for quite some time in Ohio, the Black Panthers were seemingly allowed to intimidate voters at the polls in Pennsylvania.

For all the concerns voiced by the Left and echoed in the media pre-election about potential voter intimidation, voter suppression and disenfranchisement, it is unfortunate that no one in the traditional press has cared enough to address voting problems that plagued the military vote. A plane full of their absentee ballots crashed weeks before the election, and repeated requests to rectify problems in getting ballots to and from troops stations overseas were ignored by Attorney General Eric Holder.

President Obama won election handily and its very unlikely that real instances of voter fraud and voting irregularities tipped the balance, but with that being said, the complacency of the media in this regard is troubling to say the least. The watchdog of government corruption continues to represent itself as more of a lapdog, which is a disservice to every American who legitimately cast a ballot, not to mention America's heroes in uniform who were unable to do so.

Making A Case For Conservatism

Mr. Cool 

Mr. Competent

                

More than any other demographic, the last election was decided by the youth. With the mainstream media on his side, Obama secured the vast majority of voters under thirty. After successfully pandering his way to the oval office with an onslaught of viral marketing, he's raised more than enough money to do the same thing again. The same enthusiasm that existed back then will be harder to manufacture this time around, but that doesn't change the distinct advantage the incumbent has over any candidate who dares to face him this Fall. A sizable portion of the population is still taken by his effortless charisma. The challenge we face as conservative patriots is to expose the glaring faults of this administration before it's too late. 

The unemployment rate has steadily risen over the last three and a half years, especially for twenty-somethings. What would appear to be the most impressionable voting bloc is in dire need of real hope and change, not just more empty campaign promises. Fifty-seven percent of them are either unemployed or underemployed. Eighty-five percent of the most recent group of college graduates are moving back in with their parents. The statistics are readily accessible, but the criticism isn't as prevalent as it should be. The media spin blames Bush for starting the recession. Obama was just dealt a bad hand they say, making no mention of what has prolonged the stagnation.

The constant indoctrination of radio, television and film has resulted in millions more democrats than there should be. Minorities in urban environments are almost required to vote this way. They'll be shunned by friends and family for having a different opinion. Overly altruistic blue state politicians, also known as bleeding heart liberals, love to say that they champion the cause of the poor. Excuse the expression, but there's no such thing as a free lunch. Safety nets exist for a reason, but we must help these people help themselves in the long run. 

Consider the following...

The ten poorest cities in America have something in common, they've tended to vote democratically in every single local election for decades. The statistics speak for themselves.

City, State                        Below Poverty Level          Last Republican Mayor
1. Detroit, MI	32.5%                            1951
2. Buffalo, NY	29.9%                            1954
3. Cincinnati, OH	27.8%                            1984
4. Cleveland, OH	27.0%                            1989
5. Miami, FL	26.9%                            Never
6. St. Louis, MO	26.8%                           1949
7. El Paso, TX	26.4%                           Never
8. Milwaukee, WI	26.2%                           1908
9. Philadelphia, PA	25.1%                           1952
10. Newark, NJ	24.2%                           1907

Favorite Political Quotations

"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety." 
-Benjamin Franklin


"The two enemies of the people are criminals and government,so let us tie the second down with the chains of the Constitution so the second will not become the legalized version of the first."

-Thomas Jefferson

"You cannot help the poor by destroying the rich. You cannot strengthen the weak by weakening the strong. You cannot bring about prosperity by discouraging thrift. You cannot lift the wage earner up by pulling the wage payer down. You cannot further the brotherhood of man by inciting class hatred. You cannot build character and courage by taking away people's initiative and independence. You cannot help people permanently by doing for them, what they could and should do for themselves." 

-Abraham Lincoln

"My fellow Americans, ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country."

-John F. Kennedy

Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction. We didn't pass it to our children in the bloodstream. It must be fought for, protected, and handed on for them to do the same.

-Ronald Reagan 

Wealth is the product of man's capacity to think.

-Ayn Rand

If I wanted America to fail... I would never teach children that the free market is the only force in human history to uplift the poor, establish the middle class, and create lasting prosperity.

 Instead, I’d demonize prosperity itself so they will not miss what they will never have. If I wanted America to fail... I suppose I wouldn't change a thing. 
-Ryan Houck

What a bunch of garbage, liberal democrats and conservative republicans. It's all there to control you, two sides of the same coin! Two management teams, bidding for control of the CEO job of Slavery Incorporated! The truth is out there in front of you, but they lay out this buffet of lies. I'm sick of it, and I'm not gonna take a bite out of it! Do ya got me? Resistance is not futile, we're gonna win this thing, humankind is too good, we're not a bunch of underachievers, we're gonna stand up and we're gonna be human beings! We're gonna get fired up about the real things, the things that matter like creativity and the dynamic human spirit that refuses to submit!  
-Alex Jones

God Bless America

         As citizens of the United States, we need to be reminded just how lucky we are compared to the rest of the world. It may seem like our elected officials are leading us down a path of accelerated entropy, but there is much to be thankful for. I'm not advocating an 'ignorance is bliss' lifestyle, but perspective is one of the key components of contentment.

        Despite the recession, the American Dream is still alive and well. At least that's what over a million immigrants seem to think each year, even after going through the rigorous process that precedes legal citizenship . Millions more around the globe can only dream they had the same freedoms we take for granted.

        In the HBO documentary Citizen USA, filmmaker Alexandra Pelosi (Nancy's daughter) travels to all fifty states in order to gain some insight into this ongoing phenomenon. We're initially introduced to her Dutch-born husband, who didn't want to be a foreigner in his own family when their son was born. After passing the civics test, he takes an oath to prove his loyalty with hundreds of others. Claiming to be transformed afterwards, Pelosi decides to embark on a journey to see why so many people are willing to start over here.

       Through short interviews with brand new citizens, viewers are reminded what patriotism is all about. Coincidentally, the film was released in the first week of July last year. This overt nationalism exists for good reason however, having more to do with relief than pride. There is more social mobility, cultural diversity, gender equality, and religious tolerance here than anywhere else.

       Naturalized teenage girls from China spoke of their ability to surf the web freely. Men from Jordan were appreciative of the more "hands off" approach the police take here in comparison to what they're used to. A gentleman from Afghanistan enjoyed holding his girlfriend's hand in public without being scrutinized by onlookers. A Korean woman was thankful for the loans she received, and another woman from Thailand was impressed with the responsiveness of 911 emergency personnel. Others mentioned the importance of their newly found freedom of choice, and didn't quite understand what all the constant complaining is about.

        In what is essentially a fluff piece, there are brief moments that make it worth watching. Former secretaries of state Madeleine Albright and Henry Kissinger discuss their meteoric rise through the political ranks, despite their emigration from Europe. Where else but America could this be possible?

And May God Continue To Bless It! 

     

Failures of the Obama Administration

            Over five trillion dollars and counting, that’s how much debt the federal government has racked up since Jan. 20, 2009. More than any other administration in history, and the term isn’t over yet. Obama's predecessor increased the deficit by $4.89 trillion, but that was spread out over an eight year span to be fair. Bush continues to be blamed for the dire economic situation that persists, while multiple policies and investments have failed to make a positive impact.

Despite everything, the overly sympathetic media wants everyone to give the first black president the benefit of the doubt. It seems as if they’ve gone out of their way to ignore any mistakes and criticize all detractors in hypocritical fashion. Cries of racism are commonplace when ideological arguments break down. We're being lied to, but the truth is right in front of us.

The junior senator from Illinois who campaigned in fifty-seven states on a platform of ‘hope’ and ‘change’ appears to have no intention of trying to reverse the downward spiral. His outlandish budget proposal was completely dismissed by the House of Representatives. Four hundred-fourteen politicians were in agreement for once, but there was hardly a mention of it in the news. Rep. Paul Ryan (R-WI) on the other hand was demonized for suggesting necessary cuts to entitlement programs. That’s just the tip of the iceberg.

The high unemployment rate, rising gas prices, widespread foreclosures, and the prevalence of food stamp reliance are the result of ill-advised stimulus packages, bailouts, and a foreign policy that continues to police the world without assistance. Funding unsuccessful solar energy companies like Solyndra was a drop in the bucket by comparison. What should've been a disastrous blow wasn't much of an embarrassment at all. The spotlight shined brighter on the slip-ups of GOP candidates instead.

If the countless debates were any indication, socialized medicine could prove to be one of the most contentious issues of the Fall. Supporters fought tooth and nail to pass the legislation. They were ultimately successful, but the most oppressive aspects of the bill won't go into effect until after the election. A massive bureaucracy will then be put in charge of health care. Individual liberties may then be increasingly put at risk, and the Constitution will be interpreted more freely (i.e. ignored) than ever before. Time Magazine seems to think it's a dated document with no modern relevance anyway.

 In a conversation with outgoing Russian president Dmitry Medvedev, Obama was overheard saying that he would have “more flexibility after the election in November.” Context has since been provided, but the statement remains ominous. The risk of offending over half of the voting population won’t be a problem anymore. An incumbent victory could result in a full-fledged socialist assault on capitalistic enterprises.

The long road to recovery could finally begin with a change in leadership, but the mainstream media won't admit to that. No matter what happens, they'll stand by their man. They've proven just how deep their allegiance lies. 

Movie Review

THE IMMORTALS 

I know what you're thinking... why would I want to see a movie that looks like a remake of 300? That's how it was marketed to the masses, but I'm here to tell you that it was an unique masterpiece to behold. The visual spectacle more than made up for any holes in the script. Every frame is a work of artistic brilliance that conveys an immaculate attention to detail. The trailer doesn't even begin to do the film justice. 

Director Tarsem Singh has a visual style that is all his own. The world was introduced to his awe-inspiring creativity over a decade ago in The Cell, where Jennifer Lopez was allowed to enter into the ornate dreams of a sadistic serial killer. Despite the rare combination of critical and box office success, Tarsem mysteriously disappeared from the public eye for years. In actuality, he was tirelessly working on a passion project. One that spanned the globe, filming on location in seventeen different countries without financial backing.

The Fall was initially screened to festival audiences in 2006, but two more years past before a studio bought the rights to distribute it to select cities. Those lucky enough to see it were treated to extraordinary visuals and an existential storyline that resulted in a blissful experience. The cinematography was unlike anything I'd ever seen. 

Fast forward another three years, and I'd almost forgotten about him all over again. With only two movies to his credit, he wasn't necessarily established. When I saw his name attached to The Immortals though, I suddenly realized the unlimited potential this new movie must possess.
There was hardly a dull moment throughout its seventy minute running time. The stylized gore and violence was impeccably shot with plenty of dazzling slow motion. The elaborate costume design was remarkable, as it was in his previous work. 

You may still think you've seen it all before, but this isn't another rehash of Greek mythology. While it is comparable to what Zack Snyder accomplished five years prior, this movie has its own merits that sets it apart in the end. There was some homo-eroticism, but that takes nothing away from overall enjoyment. I didn't understand that complaint about 300. Stephen Dorff seemed a little too pleased with his physique however. Despite being shirtless most of the time too, Mickey Rourke was an exceptional antagonist. Henry Caville's passable performance was overshadowed by the visuals to be honest. 

Suffice it to say, I was highly impressed with what I saw. So much so that I look forward to seeing it again in the near future. Luckily, Tarsem fans only have to wait a few more months until his next film is released. Mirror, Mirror is an epic retelling of the Snow White story. The way the Grimm Brothers intended for it to be told. Until then... SEE IMMORTALS!

 

Ron Paul For President

Less than one year from now, voting Americans will be faced with an important choice. The future of the nation is dependent upon it. Four more years of the current administration could be catastrophic, and I say that with all sincerity. One way or another, the federal government has to be restrained. The freedoms and prosperity we've grown accustomed to could permanently become a thing of the past if we don't take a stand against increasing debt and quasi-socialism.

Competent leadership is needed now more than ever, but we have to choose the alternative wisely. We can't base our affinity for any one candidate on charisma alone. Ethics and consistency are infinitely more important at this juncture, but the liberal media refuses to promote such things for some reason. The status quo is fine by them, as long as there's someone in the White House who shares the same opinions on social issues.

Ron Paul has long been considered a quirky politician on the fringe, but his staunch views on life and liberty have never changed. While other candidates are desperately pandering for votes, he remains steadfast. Sadly, this makes him unelectable. The media sees no reason to give him any real credibility, despite his growing popularity.

Controversial views aside, Ron Paul knows how to save our country from accelerated entropy more than anyone else running. Left unchecked, the bloated bureaucracy will continue to grow like a virus. Forty cents of every dollar will continue to be borrowed from communist nations like China. The welfare state's stranglehold on an already stagnant economy could result in a full blown depression, especially with a foreign policy that spreads our military too thin. His plan could potentially reverse this downward spiral within a few years, but real change is needed sooner rather than later.

Independent thinkers should be able to comprehend why this man deserves a chance to lead us out of this rut. He pledged to take no more than $39,366 per year in order to match the median income of the working population. His grassroots campaign has not accepted donations from corporations like the others. Unlike most politicians, he cannot be bought.

If you're still unsure about him, consider the following...

Movie Review

The Tree of Life 

Articulating a description of Terrence Malick's signature style of film making is a not an easy task. While I'm cultured enough to see the beauty of his artistic expression, initial viewings can be a chore to sit through.

The Thin Red Line was an underwhelming experience that confused the hell out of me over a decade ago. I struggled to figure out what exactly the plot was throughout its three-hour running time. To be honest, I kind of gave up on it half-way through. The same thing occurred with the release of The New World in 2005, which I thought was laughably bad at the time. 

A funny thing happened last year in a film studies course last year though. I changed my mind. My professor screened The Thin Red Line in class, giving it a glowing recommendation beforehand. We had lengthy discussions about it, and I had to write a four page paper. When it was all said and done, I recognized a brilliance that I didn't notice before. The nature cinematography, introspective characters, and non-linear storyline were the key components that I highlighted in my paper.

The New World ain't so bad either...

Now back to the present, where we must consider the winner of the prestigious Palme d'Or Award at the Cannes Film Festival. While I knew what to expect, nothing could prepare me for what I saw. I thought I was witnessing a transcendent masterpiece at first, but I grew impatient with the awkward silences and slow progression.

Despite the lack of dialogue, Brad Pitt and Jessica Chastain are at the top of their game. Similar to predecessors,narration was prevalent. As much as it pains me to say this, Sean Penn was underutilized. The kids were genuine enough to remind me of my own childhood. They are an rambunctious bunch who annoy their disciplinarian father. Chastain is a sweet and angelic mother who represents grace. A terrible tragedy occurs, affecting the tone of the entire movie. That's a basic synopsis, which takes over two and a half hours to convey in fragmented fashion. Suffice it to say, I got a little bored with it. 

The movie was beautifully shot however, so I can't in good conscience give it an overly negative review. If anyone deserves credit for this, it's Emmanuel Lubezki whose previous work includes Children of Men and Sleepy Hollow. There was also a sequence of eye-popping images that seemed to represent the size and scope of our world in comparison to the universe. This put everything into perspective, making me feel incredibly small in the process. The legendary Douglas Trumbull was responsible for this, who oversaw the visual effects for 2001: A Space Odyssey, Blade Runner, and Close Encounters of the Third Kind.

This is art house cinema at its finest, but I feel like I need to see it again to truly appreciate it. My rating may improve upon subsequent viewings, but it wasn't something I thoroughly enjoyed the first time. It's certainly not for mainstream audiences. 

Rating = 6 out of 10

AUBURN TIGERS: BCS CHAMPIONS

No one thought Auburn could do it. All the odds were against them, but they got the last laugh in the end. Not only did they find a way to navigate through the toughest division/conference in college football unscathed, but THE scandal never seemed to affect morale. The road to the highest level of success was an incredibly bumpy one, suspenseful comebacks became a common occurrence. Auburn developed its own swagger as the season progressed. It was more apparent in the second half, when both sides of the ball played like losing was never an option. They would go on to defeat five ranked teams, six if you count the SEC Championship. 

Gus Malzahn's offense is a clearly dynamic one, but the personnel couldn't have been more adept at turning his brilliant schemes into reality. A foundation of talent and experience was already there last season, so the addition of Cam Newton was clearly the catalyst of the turn around. His impressive feats of athleticism started against Arkansas State, but several more weeks passed before everyone else noticed. He didn't exactly come out of nowhere anyway. Tim Tebow's former backup was always destined for great things, but nothing seemed to go according to plan.

CAM TRUCKS A VOL

Once his Heisman campaign became a reality, the media started to question why Auburn was lucky enough to sign this immensely talented individual in the first place. After winning a championship at Blinn Junior College, Newton promptly started proving himself to be one of the most dominant quarterbacks in the SEC. The only problem was that Mississippi State was practically guaranteed his signature over a year earlier. Dan Mullen reportedly made a pact with him when they were both leaving Gainesville. As we all know, Cam's father must have seen an opportunity to capitalize on the situation. Thorough investigations turned up little evidence that would result in any lasting ramifications. His full reinstatement came one short day after being ruled ineligible. Case closed.

When the preseason rankings were released last summer, Auburn was relegated to #23 in the nation. Their rise to national prominence seemed to have started in the second half of the Clemson game. One would think that it must've been the stressful game in Starkville on Thursday night , but they never trailed. Auburn came out flat against a non-conference opponent, trailing by two touchdowns at half-time. A furious comeback took place, but overtime was necessary to decide the final outcome. Lady luck graciously appeared when a Clemson receiver failed to hold to the ball in the endzone. A bizarre illegal snap penalty led to a missed field goal. Auburn could collectively breath a sigh of relief, but this was only the beginning. A sign of what was to come.

South Carolina visited the Plains the following week. In another nail-biter, Auburn had to overcome a double-digit deficit against a higher-ranked opponent. The team capable of minimizing its own mistakes would ultimately be declared victorious in the end. It took an interception in the endzone at end of regulation to seal the deal. The favorable home schedule started to play a major role in protecting the team's aspirations as the season progressed. The Gamecocks would go on to dominate the #1 Crimson Tide two weeks later in Columbia, proving once again how important crowd support can be.

Louisiana Monroe offered a brief reprieve from SEC play before they made the trip to Lexington. The Wildcats were a formidable opponent, Randall Cobb just could not be stopped. Keeping him off the field was the best strategy. Newton and the offense held onto the ball for the final seven minutes of the game, relying on Wes Byrum to kick a short field goal with just seconds remaining. If not for Newton's scrambling ability, this may not have been possible. Vengeance was had for last season's incomprehensible upset, but then came Arkansas...

The fellow offensive juggernaut from Fayetteville would not be denied points in this game of absolutely no defense. Nick Fairley may have forced Ryan Mallett out with a minor concussion, but Tyler Wilson continued to dissect the secondary with relative ease. Punters were barely utilized, they just weren't needed. Arkansas had all the momentum going into the fourth quarter. That is, until Zach Etheridge returned a fumble for six points. While this could've been one of many questionable calls by the referees, the Razorback offense continued to self-destruct. Josh Bynes intercepted two consecutive passes to give the Tigers all the momentum back. The highest scoring game in SEC history would end with the final score of 65-43.

LSU's highly ranked defense was more than ready to give Auburn's offense a reality check in late October. The Bayou Bengals prided themselves on shutting down any offense they faced, but their own offense was mediocre at best. Auburn's rushing attack racked up 440 yards on the day. Newton's signature 49-yard run into the endzone was absolutely unforgettable. Auburn proved it was for real to the remaining skeptics. They survived two consecutive tests, one of which was supposed to bring them to their knees. They flat-out refused to lose, especially at home where the atmosphere was electric. Everyone wanted to believe this was a team of destiny, but there were a few challenges remaining.

The first of which was dealing with the added pressure of the first #1 ranking in school history. Some thought the ranking was cursed after three consecutive weeks of upsets. They put it all on the line in Oxford, where the Ole Miss faithful were half-expecting the trend to continue. The Rebel offense had a considerable amount of success in the second half... en route to a 20 point defeat. Auburn's offense put on a dazzling display of finesse and power. Newton showed his triple threat capability when Kodi Burns lofted a pass into the back of the endzone. The cornerback never stood a chance.

The homecoming game against Chattanooga was just a scrimmage for the two biggest rivalry games of the season. Georgia had won the last four in the series, but this season had been humbling one for the Bulldogs. They came in with every intention of winning, building an early lead in the first quarter. Auburn would not be denied their first outright division title in six years. The Deep South's Oldest Rivalry turned ugly late in the second half when Auburn's defense refused to let up. Georgia showed frustration over Fairley's aggressive play, which turned into a full-fledged confrontation. This resulted in first-half suspensions for Blanc & Goggans in the Iron Bowl.  Quarterback Aaron Murray may have taken a beating, but that's just football. Final score- 49-31. Next stop, Tuscaloosa.

The recruitment controversy perpetrated by the blogging media refused to go away. Official investigations into the matter were being conducted at a relatively rapid pace, and Auburn's star quarterback continued to play. Bammers relished the moment, unable to restrain themselves from making fun of the situation. Then gleefully watched their team go up by twenty-four points in the first-half, only to witness the most incredible comeback in Iron Bowl history. The deficit could have easily been much more, but little things started going Auburn's way. The Tigers gradually dug themselves out of a deep hole by forcing turnovers, starting with Antoine Carter's hustle play that turned a touchdown into a touchback. The defense refused to allow another touchdown, and the offense took the lead for good early in the fourth quarter. This one point victory was legendary, ending the defending champion's chances of returning to a BCS bowl.

A title game berth was almost a lock at this point, but a rematch with South Carolina in neutral territory presented one final obstacle. The Gamecocks were eager for a shot at redemption, and to play the part of spoiler. The Ole Ball Coach thought it was going to be a close game, but it wasn't. The Tigers dominated the SEC East Champions in every facet of the game. Spurrier, Garcia, Lattimore, and Jefferies were left dumbfounded by the failure of their offensive game plan. Nothing could go wrong for Newton though, who accounted for over 400 yards of offense and six touchdowns. He even connected with Darvin Adams on an improbable hail mary in the endzone at the end of the first half. USC never seemed to recover that. Final score 56-17.  I guess the Georgia Dome isn't so neutral after all.

Thirty-seven days later, the #1 Auburn Tigers were set to face the #2 Oregon Ducks in Glendale, AZ. Awards ceremonies and banquets honored several individuals, but the team hadn't accomplished what they set out to do yet. Based on the season averages, analysts were predicting a combined score of almost a hundred. The long layoff allowed both defenses to contain the rusty offenses. Despite their comparably easy schedule, Oregon played up to Auburn's level. Using their neon yellow socks as motivation, the Ducks would not go down without a fight. If not for Michael Dyer's big run in the fourth quarter, the game may have gone into overtime. Upon further review, the freshman running back was never actually down. The coaching staff rallied him to continue after springing back up. He scampered for thirty-seven yards, setting up another game-winning field goal for Byrum. The senior place kicker never seemed to fail to deliver in these situations, this was no exception.

Chizik's staff will stay intact for the third straight season. Malzahn spurned Vanderbilt and Maryland's offers, and the offensive line coach Jeff Grimes turned down a job at Texas. This kind of loyalty never seemed to exist during Tommy Tuberville's regime. Chizik can attest to that, but the superb level of recruiting continues to impress the Auburn Family. The departure of all that talent and experience will certainly create a void next season, but it's only a matter of time before these new recruits step up. Enjoy this, next season will require some patience. 

WAR DAMN EAGLE!!!!!!

Cam Newton Conspiracy

Cam Newton's road to redemption may have come upon an inconvenient speed bump, but he's still eligible to play as Auburn continues a dream season that's almost over. Despite one damning allegation after another, the Auburn Family has continued to defend and stand up for him. Coach Gene Chizik feels so strongly about the innocence of his quarterback that he would gladly put his dream job on the line for him. Athletic Director Jay Jacobs hasn't even tried to defend the institution itself, because he also feels so strongly about the character of one individual. Why would these seemingly intelligent men go out on an limb for an athlete, unless they were absolutely positive of his innocence and integrity? Auburn's athletic department was made aware of the recruiting controversy by the SEC several months before the season started. A thorough investigation was conducted, and no concrete proof of wrongdoing was ever found. If anything at all had turned up, Newton would not have been named the starting quarterback.

This entire ordeal reeks of conspiracy, and it all starts with the amateur level of reporting that has yet to improve. No one has found any real proof of wrongdoing, or a credible source who is man enough to speak on the record. These journalists (bloggers essentially) have published rumors that can neither be confirmed nor denied by anyone involved. They have violated Federal Privacy Laws and embarrassed themselves in the process. All this in an attempt to crush the hopes and dreams of student athletes and a loyal fan base. Auburn supporters are shrewd enough to see through the transparency of this obvious injustice though. Cam is innocent until proven guilty, not the other way around.

Auburn is now a legitimate title contender, a position this program is not used to being in. It's also impossible for Heisman voters to ignore #2. Not only is Newton dominant, but he's a consistent dual threat that defenses can only hope to contain in some capacity. If Auburn goes on to win the game in Glendale, they will be the fifth SEC team in a row to do so. This does not sit well with the rest of the country, so it seems as if the "objective" media has decided to demonize the conference by picking on the school that has been getting the most exposure. Preventing another Reggie Bush scandal also seems like a top priority, no one in the long history of Heisman trophy has ever had to give it back until this year.

Despite all this jealousy and animosity, Auburn will continue to play football with their star quarterback. This controversy will finally blow over sooner or later, and we can all move on with our lives. Newton can finally make the money he deserves in the NFL, and we can discuss his achievements to no end. No one can deny that he is one of the greatest to ever play the game of college football, and his legend will continue to grow. The funny thing is that no one will have to exaggerate his unmeasurable talent and ridiculous statistics. He is just that good!!